#40 Leaping into the fray of e-list arguments/drama...
Homeschoolers don't agree on everything, and some of us can be pretty outspoken people. And we rely on email to communicate, a medium known for misunderstandings, especially of someone's tone. So, it's not too surprising that from time to time, there are misunderstandings and arguments on e-lists. Heck, I started one myself a few months ago, by shooting my mouth off in a group I'd recently joined. 
If something like this flares up on one of your lists, it can be tempting to weigh in (especially if someone is clearly wrong), but I would recommend you hold off unless all of these things are true:
- The subject matter concerns you personally.
- You have something new to add to the discussion.
- You aren't angry at the moment (if #1 & #2 are true, but you aren't sure about #3, hold off a day before sending your message, and then reread it, and see if it's still something you want to send)
Instead of posting to the e-list, you might want to contact the person who has offended you directly. An advantage to this is that it doesn't prolong the debate on the list. However, if you choose to do that, make sure that your message doesn't include anything that might be interpreted as a personal attack, and be sure to ask yourself what you hope to accomplish by sending the message.
If you're tempted to jump in because a friend is being attacked, consider contacting your friend off the list, and offer support that way (although at some point, posting something to the effect of "Knock it off" may be appropriate). Hopefully the moderators will shut the discussion down, but if the list is unmoderated, or the moderators haven't weighed in, you could try "changing the subject" by posting about something less contentious.
